“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fence, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou
As children, we frequently look at our parents as sources of strength, knowledge, and direction. But what happens when the tables are turned, and our parents display infantile conduct due to dementia? It might be a difficult and emotional journey, but together with love, understanding and patience we can make it to the happen.
Dementia is a neurological disorder which weakens memory, thinking, and changes behaviour. As dementia progresses, a person may show childlike behaviours like forgetting that they ate food or what they said, getting irritated or angry easily, and keeps on repeating themselves or asking the same questions, may lose interest in activities, or keep relying on others for daily care.
The Role-Reversal
When parents develop dementia, the roles for their children may be reversed. We go from being the child to becoming the caretaker. This shift may be challenging and stressful for both parents and children.
For a youngster, a parent has always been self-sufficient and determined. They represent the pinnacle of power, and we may be as careless and infantile as we wish. But when they begin to show signs of dementia. We find ourselves taking on more caregiving responsibilities, such as administering her medication and assisting with daily tasks. At first, we would fight to manage and adjust each duty, becoming angry and saddened by our parents’ declining health. However, by learning more about dementia and how to care for our parents, we might discover a new sense of purpose and connection with them.
Embracing Child-like Behaviour
Imagine your mother telling you that she is a 10-year-old child who likes to prank others by hiding their stuff or your father trying to throw a tantrum just to seek your attention. How do we tackle such situation, how to respond or behave in such position?
Dealing with parents who exhibit childlike behaviour due to dementia can be challenging. But we also need to understand that when we care for a child, he learns whereas when caring for parents with dementia, they will keep forgetting what they know so, for a child the responsibilities gradually decrease but for parents the responsibilities keep increasing. It requires patience, empathy, and understanding. Here are some tips to help you navigate such challenges:
Validate Their Feelings
Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them.
If your parents lose things or forgets where they kept them, instead of scolding them or getting frustrated, try to understand them and tell them, “It’s okay, let’s try to find it together.” This helps them feel understood and supported.
Use Simple Language
Try speaking clearly and use simple words to help them understand and follow instructions.
Rather than saying, “You have a doctor’s appointment for which we need to leave in 30 minutes,” you can inform them, “We are going to see the doctor soon. Let’s get ready now.” This makes it easier for them to comprehend and respond.
Focus on the Moment
For a person with dementia only present moment exists. Try to join them in activities and make happy and playful memories with them.
If they love to listen to old songs, you can play their favourite song and sing with them. This can make them happy and help create positive experiences.
Show Physical Affection
Physical contact can provide comfort and reassurance to persons suffering from dementia.
Hold your parent’s hand, give them a hug, or gently stroke their arm. These tiny acts might make kids feel safe and loved.
Additional Tips
1. Maintain a Routine
Making a daily routine to give structure and to form habits.
Having meals, baths, and bedtime fixed. This consistency can help reduce confusion and anxiety.
2. Use Visual Aids
Visual aids can help convey information more effectively.
Use pictures or symbols to represent tasks. For example, looking at a cup, can remind them to drink tea.
3. Break Down Tasks
To help them with daily tasks, break down long instructions into small, easy steps.
Rather than saying, “Get dressed,” tell them to “Put on your jeans,” and then, “Now, put on your shirt.”
4. Stay Calm and Patient
Stay calm and patient, even when situations are challenging.
If your parent gets agitated while trying to button their shirt, calmly say, “Let’s try again together,” and assist them gently.
5. Engaging Activities for Parents with Dementia
• Art and Craft
Engage them in simple art and craft activities. Like, painting, colouring, or making simple crafts can be relaxing and provide a sense of accomplishment.
• Gardening
Helping them plant some flowers or fruits could be soothing and enjoyable. Even a simpler task like watering plants can be very fulfilling to them.
• Music and Dance
Music and dance can lift their spirits. Playing their favourite songs and dancing with them can be a joyful and engaging activity.
• Memory Games
Play memory games to stimulate their mind. For example, using picture cards to play simple matching games. This can help with cognitive stimulation.
6. Providing a Better Environment
• Declutter the Space
Keep their living space tidy and free of clutter to reduce confusion. By ensuring pathways are clear and removing unnecessary items to create a safe and organized environment.
• Use Labels
Label drawers and cabinets to help them find things easily. Like, labelling the kitchen drawers with pictures or words, such as “spoons” or “plates,” to make it easier for them to locate items.
• Good Lighting
Ensure the space is well-lit to prevent falls and confusion. You can use bright, even lighting throughout their living areas, especially in hallways and staircases.
• Safe and Comfortable Furniture
Choose furniture that is safe and comfortable for them to use. For instance, chairs with armrests and non-slip rugs will give them comfort and reduce fall risk.
Conclusion
It is quite stressful to deal with childlike behaviour in parents with dementia, but it is possible to create a caring atmosphere with the help of empathy, patience and understanding. In order to make your parents feel safe and loved you should acknowledge their feelings, speak slowly and clearly, pay attention to the present and touch them gently. Also, spending some time with them doing things they like and ensuring that their environment is suitable for a person with dementia can help improve their quality of life. Let us remember that even if our parents have dementia and act like children, they will never forget how we treat them. We must also understand that love has no bounds. Thus, let us still take good care of our parents, especially when they act like children, and enjoy the time we have with them.
-Esha Gusain
